Tag: Life

A Letter To Myself in 5 Years.

Hey! I am writing this as I’m sitting outside the Sullivan Building at UNCG. I just finished my last class for the day. I am 22 and almost two months away until graduating. I am still not sure what I am supposed to do and that’s okay! 🙂 I just want to say I hope you are doing well in life and living the way you always dreamed of. I hope you got into the graduate school in New York like you wished for. I hope you don’t treat your mind like a prison anymore and let all those unwanted thoughts just stay cluttered in there. Treat yourself with self-compassion like how you always show others. Just remember that everything is temporary in this world and appreciate the little things around you. I hope you still embrace your life with a smile no matter what you are going through. I know you are not that close to your dad, but keep working on your relationship with him. Most of all, surrender all your fears to GOD and let Him fill you with His peace. He understands and loves you more than anyone! I honestly can’t wait to see how much you grow five years from now.

I tried to make it impromptu as possible and just wrote whatever came to my mind. I got this idea to write a note to myself after watching a video on Youtube where this girl asks strangers to record a voicemail for themselves to listen to in 5 years. Her name is Thoraya Maronesy. Her content is so inspiring. You guys should check her Youtube channel out.

Little seeds

Childhood is always something special we hold onto part of our life. No matter how old we are, we never forget our childhood. I remember when I was a 5 year old how much I wanted to grow up to be a adult. I was tired of my parents treating me as a little girl. As a 20 year old, I have seen how much shades of dark lie within this world. We are disillusioned with the way the world treat us sometimes. From violence, hatred, selfishness and insensitivity. We wish to go back when we were kids. The days filled with pure innocence and laughter makes us nostalgic. But as we grow older we start to see life can be beautiful and in fact it can come out of the strangest places. It’s the passion that arises in the corner of the eye as night befalls. It’s laughing hilariously at the simplest things. Admiring a baby falling asleep in your arms. The evoke of emotion we feel when me meet someone so close to us after a long time. Forgetting to say goodbye with hopes you will see them again. Laying on the ground at night and just gazing into the starry sky. Relaxing under the clouds, feeling the soft summer breeze, watching the leaves move and the clouds transform into different shapes. Learning to move on from our past. And most of all, self discovering, even if that takes a whole life time to know what we truly seek in life. It’s something I am patiently waiting for it to happen.

I am letting life take course on it’s own instead of steering the wheel in the other direction. There was a time I used to wish things were the way they were when I was a child. But I am learning to just let things the way they are and let them align with my life right now. I am learning it’s alright to not have the answers to everything and it’s alright to be anxious about growing up. As kids, we wanted to grow up so badly to experience the complexity of life. It took me few heartbreaks, toxic people, struggles, anxiety for me to realize growing up is nothing like what I imagined from childhood and life can be really chaotic sometimes. In spite of all the madness, life can still be beautiful. Some amazing realizations emerge during these times of struggle. We learn to stop holding onto those who distance farther away from us. We learn to stop worrying what others think about us because we are unique in our own way. We learn what’s truly important and to let the rest go.

Doubt of life

Sitting in front of the fire, wrapped around in warm blankets. Feeling peaceful by the stillness of the azure sea. Even when thousands of diamonds are beside, the moon seems to be in solitude. It’s silver light dazzles over the blue water. Hearing the silent cracks from the fire, my mind ponders upon such doubts. Why does the moon always stay up in the sky. Why does the sun sets and rises the next day. Why do people cry even when they are happy? Why does some people no longer exists in our life. Why does it seems those stars are smiling at us. If we had all the answers to these, would we cease to live?

Passion

There is nothing inspiring about perfection. But there is everything inspiring about passion. It’s that passion what draws us to other people. When you embody such a strong emotion that sets your soul on fire, you grow more closer to the ones who give off that energy. Look to the sea for your own reflection, but do not focus on your imperfection. Our time here is much too brief to ponder on such trivial grief. Walk your life without any fear and nurture your precious aspirations.

Focus on the infinite and everything that is contained within. Focus on a border view of reality and what ultimately it is. In a constant state of evolving, we become more than what we were yesterday. For what was lost in the hustle might shine somewhere far away. Always strive for the better and there will always be something far greater than what we think.

Past

Time has an incredible gift of helping us move on from our past. As the years go on, it only becomes faded memories. You will start to feel yourself again. You find new passions and meet new people. You will start to discover more about yourself. But there will be those days that you feel at your worst. The past is not your fault but it is your responsibility to not go back in time and get stuck. One of the most universal human experiences is the feeling of being alone. Life is so unpredictable in a sense it sometimes leaves us lying down on a empty path not knowing where to go. But it’s uplifting to see how it all turns out in the end. When I look back how I was few years ago, I am happy those past experiences made me the person I am right now. My past will always live on within me, changing how I live in the present. Every now and then, I let my mind take a break and ease my heart. Walk out your front door and simply breathe in the cold air. We are destined for so much more and so much more than what we ought to become. To let go and move forward without any streak of fear takes a great deal or courage. We may not see where the road might lead, but we should still embark on that essential journey.

Faith

Above all the chaos, a vibrant light and a mortal breath drifts upon the horizon. Where hope comes across in faulty stars and sorrow mounts the soft winds. Even when the world seems it has fallen to the wrath of time and rhetoric hatred, always have faith. Have faith in humanity, have faith in human relationships and most importantly have faith in love. When we lose that faith, we lose sight of hope and lose sight of ourselves. To have ability to transcend differences in language and beliefs and build connections between strangers is what we all need. The universe’s love shine throughout our life everyday, in a mother’s smile, in the eyes of a stranger, in the sun and stars and deep within your heart.

Innocence

Time comes and time goes, but the world stays just the same. The river that is born from the rain flows into the sea. The waterfall on the other side of the ravine is frozen. The stars dance in the astral sky, flickering. A chill embraces the girl, reminding her of the days filled with innocence. Day turns to day, her heart grows cold. Eventually as time pass, the clouds walk down with her and fire is pushed inside her. She realizes she has to grow much too wise for her tender years.