When December came around last year, my family was anticipated to spend the holidays together since my brother and sister-in-law comes down from New Jersey to spend Christmas. During Christmas Eve last year, we were all feeling low on the holiday spirit, so we decided to drive to downtown Raleigh to see the lights. It was disappointing to see there were no holiday lights displayed even during Christmas. On Christmas day though, we took a casual stroll around the nearby neighborhoods, and we came by a house where the family put on a synchronized light show with a rotating playlist with each song presenting a different color theme and animations. Later onwards, we came to know that the family dedicated their lights show in honor of their 2-year old baby who passed away from spinal muscular atrophy.

I think a lot of us would describe these past two years to be fairly unstable with a lot of racial tension, political riots, unprecedented job losses, lack of predictable income, and most especially, loss of our dear loved ones. Prior to the pandemic, I was lucky enough to experience my college life to the fullest with lots of adventure and constantly having things to do. However, when the pandemic hit, and we were left with no other choice other than to quarantine at home, it really hit me hard. A few months into the pandemic, I almost felt as if I hit a rock bottom and was unconsciously returning back to my older version of myself. Even though I was working hard for my post-bac and grad school applications, I was very self-conscious of whether I was wasting my life by staying at home. By the end of last year, I think people become so attuned to this reality; also, more prepared to still deal with all those problems this year.

Within these past two years, like so many others, I have faced rejections, meltdowns, self-doubts, and failures. But as much as overwhelming has it been, it has been self-healing at the same time. The year 2021 brought in an abundance of growth, learning, and self-fulfillment. From navigating a big career switch to traveling more often, I feel so privileged to be where I am right now. Neither did I relocate to New York nor did I get accepted into PT school, but I am more than content with where I am right now. I feel so happy to end this past year with God blessing me with a job that keeps me happy and one that opens new doors for traveling the world. Lastly, this Christmas was an utmost blessing with being able to spend it at home with my family and a new baby just like how God sent his son to bring the hope of fresh beginnings and the awareness of what utter innocence looks like.